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Jim Buzinski
--The
worst play call I’ve seen all season may have doomed the
Kansas City Chiefs’ for the year. The Chiefs were leading,
14-6, and had the ball second-and-goal at the Houston 2 with
four minutes left in the third quarter. In the backfield is
the game’s best short-yardage back in Priest Holmes.
Do the Chiefs hand it to Holmes and watch him launch himself
for a score? Nope. Instead, quarterback Trent Green
fakes it to Holmes and tries a lob pass in the corner to
tight end Tony Gonzalez. The pass is thrown to the
wrong side of Gonzalez and into the hands of defensive back
Marcus Coleman, who proceeds to run 102 yards for a
touchdown.
The play
allowed the Texans to tie the game and they went on to win,
24-21, on a last-second field goal. The Chiefs lost at for
the second straight game at home and are now 0-3; only three
teams in the last decade have started 0-3 and made the
playoffs. The Chiefs got cute and it cost them big time.
--Another
dumb call by the Chiefs came at the end of the first
half when they were leading, 7-3, but went for it on
fourth-and-2, eschewing a relatively easy field goal. The
Texans held, and drove down to get a field goal of their own
right at the end of the first half.
--After
starting 2003 9-0, the Chiefs have now gone 4-7 and
lost three in a row at home after 13 straight wins there.
--Homoerotic
exchange of the week occurred between Gus Johnson
and Brent Jones, announcing the Pittsburgh Steelers
at Miami Dolphins game. This occurred after Dolphins
quarterback A.J. Feeley fumbled the snap in the rain
from center Seth McKinney:
Johnson:
"A.J. Feeley told us Seth McKinney, his center, sweats so
much during the game that when he sticks his hand underneath
to take the snap, it gets even slippery-er."
Jones: "Well, thanks for sharing. ... Where are you
going with that?"
Johnson: "Basically, Seth McKinney has a sweaty
butt."
Jones: Feeley "said the only time it gets bad is when
he licks his fingers."
--Runnerup
homoerotic
comment of the week came
from CBS analyst Dan Dierdorf during the
Chargers-Broncos game. His partner Dick Enberg did a
promo for the new CBS show “The Clubhouse,” and Dierdorf
said in reference to the show’s lead: “I like Dean Cain.”
Hey Dan, we know a lot of guys who like Dean Cain, but they
seldom are talking about his acting.
--Torry
in a Tutu: The new Monday Night Football feature “You’ve
Been Sacked” was the gayest thing we’ve ever seen during a
football broadcast. A takeoff of MTV’s “Punk’d,” the segment
featured two St. Louis Rams linemen scamming wide receiver
Torry Holt by making him believe he was voted the
best-dressed player in the NFL by a magazine that doesn’t
exist.
After Holt had makeup applied, a quite effeminate wardrobe
guy, labeled a “Queer Eye Reject” on the screen, watched as
a shirtless Holt prepared to put on a tank top. “How much do
you work out?” the guy asked Holt.” Every day,” he replied.
“Well, that’s hot,” the guy cooed.
As his teammates looked on amused from a hidden camera, Holt
wore a Village People outfit (“this is so erotica” he said),
then a leather Lone Ranger mask. Finally, after mascara,
lipstick and eye-liner were applied, Holt donned a pink
tutu, and accessorized with fake boobs, a tiara and black
feather boa. He posed in this outfit, carrying a football in
his arm. It looked hot … if you’re into cross-dressing
muscular jocks.
It was then that the prank was exposed and Holt was a
terrific sport about the whole thing, hugging the two
teammates who conned him. I found it cleverly done and a
funny play on stereotypes rather than being homophobic in
any way. And Holt did seem to look pretty comfortable in the
tutu.
--Hot
shot of the week: The Fox cameraman who seemed to
literally be standing over Indianapolis Colts receiver
Brandon Stokley as he caught a touchdown pass and rolled
on his back into the end zone; the camera then got tight on
Stokley’s smiling face, with him screaming, “Yeah! Yeah!”
--There
have been a lot of boring games this season as many
offenses seem to be struggling. During the early games
on Sunday, eight of the 16 teams failed to score a touchdown
in the first half. The biggest snoozer was Atlanta Falcons
6, Arizona Cardinals 3, which featured seven lost fumbles.
It was same score by which the baseball Atlanta Braves beat
the Florida Marlins on Sunday.
--In
contrast to the early-game dogs, the Indianapolis Colts and
Green Bay Packers played the most entertaining game
of the season, with the Colts winning, 45-31. The first four
drives had four touchdown passes, two each by the Colts’
Peyton Manning and the Packers’ Brett Favre. The
Colts scored 35 points in the first half and Manning had
five touchdown passes.
--"It was
like John Madden PlayStation or X-Box or something," Colts
tight end Marcus Pollard told the Indianapolis Star.
"It's nice that we controlled the joystick and scored a few
more points than they did."
--I loved
the Colts throwing passes on their first 22 plays.
Why not? The Packers certainly weren't stopping Manning.
--The
Jacksonville Jaguars did it again, winning their third
straight game in the final minute. The Jags, down 12-7 at
Tennessee, rallied win 15-12 in the game’s final seconds.
Jacksonville has scored only 35 points in its three games,
but have a defense that keeps them in every contest. They
are starting to look like the 2003 Carolina Panthers, who
seldom looked pretty but reached the Super Bowl by winning a
bunch of close games.
--Tennessee,
now 1-2, joins the Chiefs as two Super Bowl contenders in
trouble. In contrast, the Seattle Seahawks may play
in the league’s easiest division. After blasting San
Francisco, the Seahawks are 3-0 in the NFC West. The other
teams in the West are the 1-2 St. Louis Rams and the 49ers
and Cardinals, each 0-3.
--In losing
34-0 to Seattle, the San Francisco 49ers were shut out
for the first time since 1977 (a span of 420 games).
--In losing
to the Steelers, 13-3, the Dolphins started 0-3 for
the first time since 1969. The game was low scoring but
interesting to watch for a while, with the second quarter
being played in a total downpour, compliments of Hurricane
Jeanne.
--The Rams
really choked one away in losing, 28-25, to the New Orleans
Saints in overtime. The Rams went ahead, 25-22, on a
dramatic 19-yard run by quarterback Marc Bulger with
only 28 seconds left. But the Rams defense couldn’t stop the
Saints from driving down and kicking the game-tying field
goal. In overtime, the Rams failed to score, then watched as
the Saints marched down to win on John Carney’s fifth
field goal of the day.
--The
Saints were led by backup running back Aaron Stecker,
who rushed for 106 yards while subbing for the injured
Deuce McAllister. Stecker took umbrage after the game
when reporters seemed surprised by his performance. "Hey,
I'm a running back,'' Stecker said. "It's not like they
pulled me out of the front office and said 'Deuce is out, do
you know how to play some running back?' “
--In
another sign of the popularity of fantasy football, Chiefs
running back Priest Holmes, who was playing hurt,
said in a pregame interview that he would have a big game
for anyone who had him on their fantasy team. Holmes rushed
for 134 yards, but failed to score a touchdown, so he was
average at best in fantasy terms.
--The
Atlanta Falcons are 3-0 for the first time since 1986.
But Falcons fans shouldn’t get too excited—the combined
record of the Falcs’ three victims is 1-8. Next week’s game
at Carolina will give us a true test of where Atlanta
stands. In contrast, the 3-0 Philadelphia Eagles have
beaten teams who are a combined 6-3, and these teams’ only
loss has been the Eagles. |
