Orange is the new bronze. What bad tanning salon in Jersey did Joe Buck visit this past week while prepping for
the Eagles-Giants game? He looked like Sideshow Bob after
leaving that fake orange tanning lotion on for three days
too long. I thought the color just needed to be adjusted on
the TV; But when Troy Aikman came out looking normal, I knew
it was just a bad skin day for Buck.
24 bottles
of beer on the wall...
It's hard to believe that with only two weeks left in the
NFL season, two dozen teams are still alive. Only Arizona,
Cleveland, Detroit, Houston, Miami, Oakland, Tampa Bay and
Washington have been eliminated from playoff contention,
with Buffalo,
Pittsburgh, Tennessee, Kansas City, Green Bay, Minnesota,
Carolina, San Francisco and St. Louis on life support.
Big deal.
A friend said on Sunday night, "Good win by the Pats."
Sorry, this one wasn't a good win. It was just a much-needed
win. The score is irrelevant; They're not going to get four
interceptions and a kick returned for a TD in the playoffs.
The offense averaged only three yards a carry and their
leading receiver was a running back. We get to find out this
Sunday at Jacksonville if this win was a turnaround or just
an easy foe.
Best
chances to win the Super Bowl:
1) Baltimore
(5:1).
I think they've got the best chance of a bunch of teams that
all could win it. I give them the edge because they have the
best defense.
2t) New
England & Indianapolis (8:1).
Indy looked great on Monday night (though they still gave up
133 rushing yards and the tackling looked Colts-esque at
times), but I think they have big match-up problems with a
couple teams in the AFC. New England is so up-and-down, it
just depends if they can be up for four straight weeks.
4) San Diego
(6:1).
We saw on Sunday night why they aren't in the top three.
Philip Rivers is going to bite them in the ass at some point
in January, and L.T. won't be able to bail them out. I think
they'd lose to any of the three teams I've ranked ahead of
them, and I think they'd probably lose to the Saints in the
Super Bowl, if they somehow got there.
5) New Orleans
(10:1).
I get the feeling they might be like the 2001 Patriots, who
simply put it all together nicely in the playoffs. They're
the best team in the NFC, and I think they'll host the NFC
Championship if they can get that far.
Weaklings:
It becomes more apparent each week how crappy the NFC is. We
saw ample evidence again in Week 15.
--The
Chicago Bears (12-2) clinched home field for the playoffs,
but blew a 24-3 lead to woeful Tampa and needed overtime to
beat the Bucs 34-31 at home. It’s not a coincidence that both Bear
losses were to AFC teams (Miami and New England).
--New
Orleans (9-5) was everyone’s darlings and a sleeper Super
Bowl pick after putting up 42 last week on Dallas. Sunday,
the Saints exhibited shaky play calling and offensive
ineptitude in losing at home 16-10 to Washington, a team
going nowhere. The Saints still won the division, but only
because both Atlanta and Carolina lost. Three of the Saints
losses were to AFC teams.
--Seattle (8-6) is the defending NFC champ and two weeks ago
the Seahawks looked like they were getting good at the right
time. But consecutive losses to division weaklings Arizona
and San Francisco showed how mediocre the Seahawks are.
Seattle is lucky that no other team in its division is at
.500 or above.
--Despite losing to Philadelphia, 36-22, the 7-7 New York
Giants would be in the playoffs if the season ended today.
There is a good chance that the sixth NFC playoff team will
be 8-8.
In the
AFC, 7-7 teams like Pittsburgh, Buffalo and Tennessee have
only slim playoff chances, but they would be right in the
thick of things in the NFC. If the Steelers were in the
other conference, I think they could make a strong playoff
run. Twelve of the 16 AFC teams are at 7-7 or better,
compared with seven in the NFC.
The
Bears, because of their defense and playing at home, are
still the NFC favorites. I think the Saints, despite being a
heartwarming story, are overrated. Dallas is probably still
the team best equipped to knock off the Bears.
I also
like the way Philadelphia is playing behind Jeff Garcia.
He’s a big-league quarterback who has playoff experience and
has played very well in relief of Donovan McNabb.
A
friendly kiss:
Garcia has
assured us time and time again that he is
heterosexual. Who am I to argue? That’s why it was so cool
to see him kiss Eagles teammate Jeremiah Trotter at the end
of Sunday’s big win against the Giants. I like when men feel
so comfortable in their sexuality that they can openly
display affection for others.
"To get a [game-sealing
interception] like that was just a sweet thing," Garcia
said. "And that's why Trotter got a kiss."
"I'm glad I
had my helmet on,''
Trotter said, and I am not sure if it was a joke or not. Garcia joins Chad
Johnson and Joey Porter as those players seen kissing
teammates this season. NFL films needs to do a DVD.
What a turnaround:
The key sequence in San Diego's 20-9 win over Kansas City
occurred late in the first half with the Chargers holding a
7-3 lead. The Chiefs blocked a Chargers' punt and were
poised to have the ball inside the San Diego 20. But for
some reason, a Chief touched the ball after it had crossed
the line of scrimmage, making it a live ball. The Chargers
recovered and kept possession. One play later, LaDainian
Tomlinson ran 85 yards untouched for a score.
MVP: I declare the
race for MVP officially over and Tomlinson wins. He clinched
it with his 199-yard, two-touchdown performance on national
TV, the same day New Orleans' Drew Brees looked like an
average quarterback.
L.T. has set three amazing
records: most points scored in a season (186 and counting);
most total touchdowns (31) and most touchdowns rushing (28).
Stat
line of the season:
The Tennessee Titans had only 34 plays against Jacksonville
and gained only 98 total yards. They had an all-time record
low 15:38 seconds of possession time (records have been kept
on this stat
for 30 years). Yet Tennessee won the game, 24-17, for their
fifth consecutive win. The Titans scored 21 points on a
kickoff return and two interception returns.
The
Jaguars (8-6) continue to be the weirdest team in the
league. The Jags have beaten the Steelers, Colts, Giants and
Cowboys while losing to the Texans (twice), Bills and
Titans. Jacksonville has only one win outside the state of
Florida. An interesting game next week – New England at
Jacksonville. The Pats are 5-1 on the road while the Jags
are 6-1 at home.
Not a
brainiac:
Now we know why Titans quarterback Vince Young barely
reached double digits in his Wonderlic score. With the
Titans holding on to a 24-17 lead and 1:20 to play,
Tennessee faced a 3rd-and-12. But with
Jacksonville out of timeouts, a running play and punt would
have left the Jags with only 24 seconds left to drive for
the tying touchdown. But for some reason Young decided to
throw the ball away while being pressured. The bonehead play
stopped the clock with 1:12 left. Jacksonville committed a
turnover soon after or else Young could have been the goat
of the game.
