This
is probably the strangest thing I've gotten to write about
since St. Louis Blue
Mike
Danton tried to have his agent/Svengali/alleged lover killed.
A picture has surfaced allegedly of New England Patriots running back
Laurence Maroney sucking on the neck of a guy in a
salmon-colored shirt, prompting some to claim that he is on
the verge of coming out. Oh, but it gets weirder.
The picture (right) originated on Maroney's own Facebook
page, which now seems to have disappeared (shocker there).
It was accompanied by some bizarre quotes that don't seem to
be English, including this one that some are pointing to as
proof that Maroney is coming out of the closet:
"Your ass backwards if you chase hoes, chase the cheese they
come with the shit."
The assertion is that "the cheese" is men.
Urbandictionary.com has a lot of "hip" definitions of
cheese, one of which is in fact, "A good friend who is
committing an act that steps over the line." That would
certainly fit the context. Another common use of "cheese" is
some drug that combines Tylenol PM and heroin; given
Maroney's decent rookie season, we'll shy away from making
any connections to him there.
Other classic lines taken from his Facebook profile by
various Web sites:
"wash u ass"
"bout time we got some construda in dis mothafucka"
"u begul shitting"
No idea what in hell "construda" or "begul" mean. Couldn't
even venture a guess.
The story picked up steam over the weekend when gossip site
Media Take Out posted the picture of Maroney with their
own assessment. It isn't the first time the gossip site has
fueled the flames of gay-athlete rumors: Last December the
site
announced that a New Jersey Net was bisexual and in a
relationship with a man.
But what of this news? Is the Patriots' starting running
back gay and on the verge of coming out? Call me crazy, but
my hunch says no. Even if the guy whose neck Maroney is
sucking on is wearing a salmon-colored shirt, there are far
too many innocent explanations for the picture. And call me
old-fashioned, but I still don't buy that Maroney would out
himself by telling readers to "chase the cheese."
This
is probably the strangest thing I've gotten to write about
since St. Louis Blue