Three-time
WNBA MVP Sheryl Swoopes came out of the closet to much
fanfare on October 26. We got a chance to chat with Sheryl
two days later.
Cyd
Zeigler: You must be exhausted. When are you going on your
cruise with Olivia?
Sheryl
Swoopes: Not soon enough. Tomorrow. I have not slept in two
days. I haven’t eaten. But, it’s all been worth it.
CZ: Why
has it been worth it?
SS:
Because I feel very free. I’m sitting outside doing this
interview. I’m looking up into the sky. I’m watching birds
fly. And that’s what I feel like right now. I feel like a
beautiful black bird that’s just soaring across the sky.
Just very free. Very happy. And the fact of me not having to
lie anymore is so refreshing and so relaxing.
CZ: You
said a “beautiful black bird.” You're the first
African-American professional athlete to publicly declare,
and embrace, that you're gay. What is the significance of
that to you and to the public?
SS:
Well, unfortunately, the African-American community is not
as open to the issue as a lot of other races are. And I
think that goes back to our childhood and the way we were
brought up and what our beliefs were. Not to say that other
people didn’t have those things, but it was just different
for us. Going through slavery, we’ve always had struggles
and battles and things we’ve had to overcome. And the way we
overcame those things were family and falling back on the
Bible. That’s why I think it’s really hard for the
African-American community to accept it. And I know I’m
going to have some battles, not only in the African-American
community but also the world. But, the possibility of me
opening up doors, not just for African-American men and
women, but for all people, is a great feeling to me. When I
did it, I didn’t think about what this would possibly mean
in the African-American community, I just thought about
Sheryl and me being able to be happy.
I was
telling my partner the other day, when I look at TV, I see
Rosie and everyone knows, and Rosie is Rosie, and it’s not
an issue anymore. And I look at Ellen Degeneres and her
partner, and see Ellen hosting the Emmys, and they’re on the
red carpet, and it’s like, “oh, there’s Ellen and her
partner.” It’s not like, “oh, there’s Ellen, she’s gay.”
It’s not that anymore. I see that and I want to do that. I
want to be able to go to the ESPYs with my partner and walk
down the red carpet and have people say, “oh, there’s Sheryl
and her partner,” and be okay with it, instead of me having
to pretend. I’ve taken friends and brothers to different
events because I couldn’t take my partner with me. Those
types of things are so important to me.
CZ: Some
people have asked, “Well, she was married. Is she bisexual?”
SS:
Nope, I’m not bisexual.
CZ: How
have you reconciled that with the fact that you were
married?
SS:
Well, I don’t think I was born that way. Again, it was a
choice. As I got older, once I got divorced, it wasn’t like
I was looking for another relationship, man or woman. I just
got feelings for another woman. I didn’t understand it at
the time, because I had never had those feelings before.
Initially, I didn’t react on them. Maybe it’s because I had
just gotten divorced.
CZ: At
what point did you start calling yourself “gay”?
SS:
After being together for three to four years and not having
feelings for another man is when I understood who I really
was.
CZ:
After you gave ESPN the Magazine the interview but before
the magazine came out, in those days or weeks when it was in
motion but hadn't happened, what were you thinking and
feeling?
SS:
Thinking I’ll be glad when this is over. Feeling anxious,
nervous, excited. Not fear. That’s the one emotion I did not
have. And maybe curious. I didn’t know what was going to
happen, how the reaction was going to be. But, I never had
second thoughts. There was a point in time when I could have
called it off. I did have restless nights, when I didn’t get
much sleep. But I was so looking forward to it.
CZ: You
said other players knew. Did you get advice from them?
SS: No.
It wasn’t something we talked about. I didn’t talk about it
with my teammates or other people in the league. But players
knew. Just like your friends know things about you and you
don’t talk about it. I have friends on other teams and, when
we go play, we go hang out. It wasn’t an issue. It wasn’t
something that we talked about.
CZ: Some
people have said that your relationship with Scottie (Alisa
Scott, her partner) while she was your coach was improper.
SS: I
feel the same way, just like I feel like a principal
shouldn’t date a teacher. Because I think that could cause
lots of problems. It wasn’t something I was proud of. But,
that’s why, for so many years, we had to hide it. You can’t
help who you fall in love with, man or woman. You can’t help
those feelings you have. We both knew that it wasn’t right,
the fact that I was a player and she was a coach. What were
other players going to think? What was the organization
going to think? It was a difficult time for both of us
because we loved each other. We tried to do both, we tried
to be with each other and still go to work and be
professional. I think we handled the situation as
professionally as possible. That’s why she made the decision
that she wasn’t going to coach anymore last year. It had
gotten to the point where it was just difficult, having to
pretend and hide. People knew, but they also didn’t know.
But, it got to the point where I didn’t want to continue to
hide this. So, she made the decision to resign.
CZ: Is
Scottie thinking about getting into coaching again?
SS: I
think she wants to get into real estate. I think she still
has the passion for coaching, though. I do ask. Some days
she does want to, some days she doesn’t.
CZ: How
would you describe your marriage, looking back at it now?
SS: I
was, when I was married, happily married for the first two
years. Like any couple, we had problems and issues. And we
both started going in different directions and I felt like
it was time for us to go our separate ways. I don’t regret
it because I learned a lot about life, a lot about myself,
and I got a beautiful, healthy baby boy out of it.
CZ: Does
your son, Jordan, play basketball?
SS: What
doesn’t he do? He does a little bit of everything.
CZ: Has
he met Michael Jordan?
SS: Yep.
A few times.
CZ: What
does he think of his mom being with another woman, and with
all of this publicity about it?
SS: I
tried to sit him down before it happened. Jordan is a very
smart kid. He understands. He’s eight years old, so there’s
only so much I want to tell him, and there’s only so much he
wants to listen to. So, told him that mommy’s about to be in
a lot of newspapers and magazines and TV, because mommy’s
going to tell people that she’s gay and mommy loves Scottie
and Scottie loves mommy. And he says, “oh, ok,” like, “why
are you telling me this now?” And then he was ready to move
onto something else. I wanted to at least talk to him so I
could try to prepare him, so when kids, and even adults,
because we live in a very mean world, come up to you and say
mean things to you, this is how you can respond to that. So,
he gets it, but he doesn’t get it.
CZ:
You're Christian. How do you reconcile your religion with
your sexuality?
SS:
That’s probably one of the toughest battles that I deal with
on a daily basis. But, I believe that you are who you are,
and you can’t control your feelings as far as who you fall
in love with. I’m a good person. I treat people well. I
don’t kill, I don’t rob, I don’t steal. I try to do the
right thing. I’m okay with it. I would like to believe that,
at some point, it’s not going to even be a religious issue.
But you hear different things. My mom talks about it. I pray
about it every single day and I wake up every morning and
I’m happy and I’m OK with who I’m with, I’m okay with my
life.
CZ: What
do you pray about every day?
SS: Just
life. I pray about my life, I pray about her life, I pray
that our relationship grows stronger. I pray for the world.
Just lots of things.
CZ: How
has your church received this news?
SS: I’m
in the process of trying to find a church that I’m
comfortable with. I don’t want to be just another number in
any church. I want to feel I have a purpose there, and I
want to feel like I have a purpose there. I know God put me
on this earth for a reason. I know whatever church I find, I
want to know I have a purpose for being there.
CZ: What
would you say to a closeted athlete, male or female, who is
wrestling with their sexuality and their love for sports? In
what circumstances would you encourage others to come out?
SS: My
reason to do this was not to encourage others to come out.
It was all about me. But, I know there are so many people in
the sports world, in corporate America, who are dealing with
their sexual identity and whether to come out or not. If
it’s something you’re comfortable with, then do it. What you
do in your personal life is your own business. But, I don’t
think it’s healthy to live a lie. And how am I going to
teach my son to be honest with people, to be honest with
himself, if I’m not being honest with myself. I just think
one of the most important things in anything you do, you’ve
got to be honest with yourself. And to constantly live a lie
and be battling feelings inside, that’s unhealthy. You’ve
got to be able to be who you are and be okay with that.
I think
there are so many teenagers out there who are dealing with
their sexuality, but they don’t know how to address it. They
don’t have anyone to talk to. They can’t go to mom and dad
because they don’t know what mom and dad might do. And
they’re terrified. And the way they deal with it is they
commit suicide or turn to drugs. If there is one person out
there, in the sports world or corporate America, that reads
one of these many articles about me, and it’s going to have
a positive effect on their life, whether they decide to come
out or not, then I feel like I’ve done my job as far as
being a role model for that person. There are so many people
who feel alone, like they can’t relate to anybody. So, their
answer is to commit suicide. And that’s a sad thing.
CZ: Do
you think you might become an advocate for any
gay/lesbian-specific causes?
SS: It’s
a little too early to talk about that. I think I’ll probably
be approached. There’s a possibility. And I say that because
I want to have a positive effect on life. And if there’s
something I can do, I can say, to make this world a better
place, then I absolutely want to do it.
CZ: How
can our readers contact you?
SS: I
would be very interested in hearing from people. I want to
read the letters, good and bad.
People
can write to Sheryl via snail mail at:
Sheryl
Swoopes
C/o Olivia
434 Brannan Street
San Francisco, CA 94107
Oct. 29,
2005
List of Out Athletes
'
