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A urologist’s guide to the NCAA tourney

“you can get them right in there and get the swelling down”I don't have much to add to this "news" item about a urology clinic in Oregon that is using March Madness to entice men to book vasectomy appointments. But I just couldn't resist. It's not every day you see groin-swelling journalism that combines NCAA basketball and the male reproductive organ (both of which, incidentally, are popular on this site):

"When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," the clinic's radio ad says. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts. It's snip city."

Institute Administrator Terry FitzPatrick said men need two to four days to recover from the procedure -- but not all take the time.

He's reserved a dozen appointment slots for March 19, the day before the first tipoffs of the NCAA Tournament, and another dozen for March 26, before the tournament's second week.

He reported filling 15 slots by Thursday afternoon and expects to fill all 24.

The sports radio station broadcasting the clinic's ads promises to send each patient a recovery kit of sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas.


"The frozen peas are malleable enough that you can get them right in there and get the swelling down," FitzPatrick said.

Right. So, this begs a few serious questions: Can I drink beer while I'm recovering? And can I leap to my feet to yell at the TV when a team I've picked for the Final Four goes out in the first round, just hours after surgery?

I'm skeptical. --Ryan Quinn