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LZR suits are ruining swimming

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Curse the LZRSwimming is underway at the Water Cube, and something is missing. On the starting blocks for Larsen Jensen's 400m freestyle heat there wasn't a square foot of visible flesh between the eight athletes. This is unacceptable. In the name of advanced technology and faster times swimmers are dawning full body outfits that would have the ancient Greeks rolling in their graves. (Mercifully, the divers are sticking to tradition - toned bodies in tiny trousers. The genius lies in the simplicity.)

I consider myself a devout sports fan, but these LZR suits have me questioning my fandom. Instead of enjoying heat after heat of preliminary events, I find myself wondering: Am I a true sports fan who happens to be gay, or am I just a gay sports fan who wants to see some skin? Would you rather see a technology-aided world record or eight topless bodies?