We introduced you earlier this week to Spencer Duhm, the latest gay-athlete contestant on ‘Survivor.' Thpenther apparently isn't of the "live and let live" gay variety; he's of the "gay men shouldn't act ‘gay'" variety. He doesn't like gay men who lisp, he doesn't like gay men who openly have crushes on straight guys; In fact, I'm surprised Thpenther's last name isn't Haggard as he thanks God he doesn't 'sound gay':
I don't, like, come across, like, most of the gay guys but I am, so I'll probably be, like-but then again, JP was gay and nobody knew that on the show; he was about the straightest I've ever seen. ... But I won't be Todd, I surely won't be Coby. I won't be Charlie. Holy shit. I talked to my parents and I was like, ‘Mom, do I sound like that?' she was like, ‘Sweetheart, no, I would never let you go out in public if you sounded like that.' Thank God.
Oh, and by the way, have you seen any clips of Thpenther talking? Girlfriend is gayer than he thinks.
Like, leave the man alone. Ugh. It just baffles me. Every time he opens his mouth it's just like 'I love Marcus, Marcus is great. I feel protective when he's around. I feel nervous when he's not around.' It's kind of like alright you have a serious crush on him. This isn't jokin. Stop. Just stop. I'm embarrassed for him. I know he's gotta be sitting at home embarrassed, red-faced.
Other genius revelations by the 19-year-old:
On being an alternate for the show: "I'm praying for somebody to have some sort of psychological breakdown or a freak injury. Like, I'm thinking about pushing somebody off the edge."
On almost not making it on the show: "They have to have diversity, they have to people who are going to be apathetic, they have to have people who are sheltered, racial diversity. So I understand. It's hard, yes, very hard. I just don't see why I can't have my spot, why I'm missing from the puzzle."
On his Univ. of Florida crew team: "We walk around in spandex bottoms-shirtless, spandex, nobody cares. We have ripped guys on my team, but I'm not like *boing* all day long."
Thpenther, your lisp may be minimal, but please, for your own sake, stop talking!!
I really liked Charlie. I'd met him before, he is a sweet guy, he's genuine, and he's really warm and welcoming. But about Thpenther, I couldn't have said it better than Thpenther himself when he talked to Reality Blurred:
If there's nobody else to vote out, just vote out the immature kid.