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Michael Phelps, escape artist

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The tough talking sheriff in Columbia, S.C. said Monday that he won't charge swimming sensation Michael Phelps after all. Add escape artist to the Olympian's already impressive resume.

"We had a photo and him saying he was sorry for inappropriate behavior," Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott said during a televised press conference. "He never said, ‘I smoked marijuana.' We didn't have physical evidence."

Lott said he hoped children would learn that no matter who you are, you can't break the law.

"Michael Phelps is truly an American hero," Lott said. "But even with his star status, he is obligated to obey the laws of our state."

Case closed. Can everyone just take a hit and relax now? (Make sure no one has a camera, please.)

Matt Hennie blogs on Atlanta's gay sports scene (and other stuff) at Project Q Atlanta.