If you are lucky to have the NFL Network on your cable or satellite package, a real treat is the annual NFL combine in Indianapolis, running through Tuesday. Hours of hyper-athletic jocks in Under Armour running, jumping, throwing and bench-pressing all as NFL scouts evaluate them for the upcoming draft like so many head of cattle.
It's one of the few times you get to see these guys sans helmet. And the commentary is often quite homoerotic as the announcers wax enthusiastically about a guy's "pipes" (biceps), butt, chest and pretty much every other body part. I heard Jamie Dukes yesterday gush about one tight end candidate: "Look at his butt, and I mean that in the literal sense." Dukes knows his butts -- I was literally looking at the player's butt and it was a fine one at that.
I loved this exchange between Rich Eisen and Mike Mayock, gushing over the body of tight end prospect Dan Gronkowski (photo), a 6-6, 255-pound prospect from the University of Maryland (who benched 225 pounds for 26 reps). As Gronkowski ran his 40-yard dash, it went like this:
Eisen: "He's huge, he's a monster!"
Mayock: "He's all carved up. ... I told the ladies on the staff that they might want to get a look at Tight End, Dash 8." Eight was Gronkowski's combine number.
As they went to commercial, they was a shot of Gronkowski running in slow motion, causing Eisen to say: "The flowing locks of Gronkowski."