This week there’s been a revealing Reddit conversation about whether straight guys are “nervous” about showering with gay guys. We’ve heard this concern pop up before, from guys in the NFL all the way down to recreational sports, that somehow having a gay guy naked in the locker room changes the dynamic of the nakedness so prominent there.
One of the first answers on the Reddit chat was the tried and true, “Guys think they will be peeped at.”
Ummmmm, guys are “peeped at” in the shower already. Their straight (and closeted) teammates are looking at them naked, studying them, remembering them, already (this is something many respondents in the Reddit chat pointed out). In fact, studies have shown that straight guys “measure up” each other even more than gay men do in the showers.
One answer said that “straight dudes don't enjoy seeing dudes' junk.” Totally untrue (see the above paragraph for starters). Many straight guys get off on seeing each other naked, being naked together, grabbing each others penises. Yes, many truly straight guys act far more “gay” in the locker room than your average gay athlete.
Another gem: “There's a difference between being seen and being wanted and seen. Perceived or factual.”
Actually, there is no practical difference to the person being looked at. Zero. None. The person being looked at may concoct stories in their head about it, but whether the teammate (remember, we are talking about other men you spend hours and hours over weeks, months and years with) wants to see you naked or not, there is zero difference in reality to the lookee.
The conversation on Reddit is super revealing, with responses ranging from knee-jerk to thoughtful.
At the end of the day, this answer reflects the true reality most (but not all) gay athletes face on their teams when they come out: “I honestly didn't care when one of my buds came out while I was in the Army. I still showered when he was around.”