Welcome back to Talkin’ Gaysball where The Big Unit rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.
One of my favorite features in this column has been spotlighting baseball players who break out of the game’s rigid conventions of testosterone-driven toxic masculinity and show us a more nuanced side of themselves.
On a recent baseball trip to Arizona, I might have found my favorite example.
If you have any memories of the 2001 World Champion Arizona Diamondbacks, you no doubt recall ace pitcher Randy Johnson.
Get off the sidelines and into the game
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The five-time Cy Young winner was a 6-foot-10 mountain of incandescent fury who turned batters into catatonic masses of flop sweat with a 98 mph fastball that he wouldn’t hesitate to fire above their heads— even in a meaningless All Star Game.
Style-wise, Johnson had two trademarks: a perpetual scowl and a ratty mullet which conveyed that a hitter’s only hope was to distract him with free Slayer tickets.
Johnson was The Big Unit. Even his nickname embodied over-the-top machismo. Come to think of it, so did his last name.
That anger and stereotypical jock demeanor took him all the way to the Hall of Fame.
But when I visited Phoenix a couple weeks ago, I discovered a much different side to Johnson. After he retired from baseball, he went all in on his lifelong interest in photography and was displaying his work in the city where he made his greatest impact on the field.
Between D-backs games, I paid a visit to 51 Frames, a public exhibition of his work at Phoenix’s Found:RE Hotel. What I saw blew me away.
On display were several of Johnson’s photographs featuring African elephants that reflected their awe-imposing size while simultaneously conveying a sense of vulnerability — characteristics that he was no doubt very familiar with.
Inside another frame, a leopard staring directly into the camera legitimately looked like it was doing an impression of Johnson’s game face.
His photo of a herd of wildebeests rampaging through a river contained both absolute chaos and sublime beauty.
The combined effect of all of these photographs was stunning.
Here was a baseball player who did everything in his power to turn himself into a Stephen King monster on the pitcher’s mound. But unbeknownst to all of us, his mask of rage obscured that he also had the soul of an artist.
If you went back in time and told 2001-era me that these brilliant and soulful photos were the work of the same player who accidentally Thanos-snapped a bird with his fastball, I would never have believed you.
Sharing your art with the public is by its very nature a sensitive act. Thanks to his decision to do this and reveal a more personal side of himself, Johnson has become the rare player who is more fascinating after retirement. Next year, he’ll be releasing a book of his photography and I can’t wait to see more of that side of him.
It’s Giving…Up
For most of the baseball season, my mantra has been “just get through October and we can retire these terrible jerseys for good.” Naively, I thought the calendar reaching autumn would bring nothing but good sartorial news.
But I forgot the No. 1 rule of 21st century baseball: never bet against Rob Manfred making something worse.
(MLB PRESS RELEASE: Unless you do so at DraftKings, the official questionable life choices partner of Major League Baseball!)
Just in time for the playoffs, MLB announced that it will be adding ads to batting helmet throughout the postseason. Every helmet will be emblazoned with the logo of German apparel label Strauss.
Because when you think “fashion,” you think “2024 MLB uniforms.”
In an era where baseball is faced with record low World Series ratings, Manfred’s solution is to find every single way he can to make each game that much more unwatchable.
MLB Thirst Trap of the Week
It’s been great (and hawt) cataloging baseball thirst traps all season. But now that teams are clinching playoff berths and locker rooms are getting packed with sweaty dudes in muscle shirts pouring champagne on one another, it feels like we’ve entered the TTOTW postseason too.
Isn’t that right, William Contreras?
I don’t know if Outsports will have the bandwith for this feature when the Phillies clinch.