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Ryan Howard wields a very large bat

howardda.jpgLest anyone think that straight guys don't look in a locker room, comes this tale from Deadspin from an encounter between a writer, Barry Petchesky, and Philadelphia Phillies slugger Ryan Howard.

... That’s when I had an entirely new thought dominating my mind: oh, look, it’s Ryan Howard’s cock.

The locker room at Citizen’s Bank Park is right off the showers, so most players were milling about in towels, or changing into street clothes. Not Howard. He was chatting with the press, smiling that man-child smile that makes him so endearing, and – oh yeah, waving his Louisville Slugger around like he was in the batting cage.

I’d like to tell you I kept a veneer of professionalism. I’d like to tell you I looked him in the eye and asked the hard-hitting questions. But I was channeling Boon from Animal House: “Is he bigger than me?”

I didn’t have it that bad. I’m tall enough to be almost eye level with him, but the poor WIP reporter must’ve been about 5’2”. If he had been a vampire, Howard could have impaled his heart with a quick pelvic thrust.

I don’t want you to think I was being homophobic, or prude, or maybe a little turned on. This was more than casual nudity. This was flaunting. For every question, Howard would rotate his body to face the reporter, as if calling on them with his baby arm. ...

If the sportswriting gig doesn't work out, Petchesky can always try M4M stories. --Jim Buzinski