(This story was published in 2007).

Richard Gasquet, the French tennis player who reached the semifinals of Wimbledon this year, wants us to know he’s not gay.

In April, the French magazine Le Point reported on a rumor that the 21-year-old Gasquet was having an affair with 46-year-old married businessman Arnaud Lagardere (how French!), whose sports research firm sponsors many tennis players. Lagardere denied it, as did Gasquet when asked about it in Monte Carlo:

“I was absolutely not happy about that. This question has come back hundreds of times, and every time someone turns up saying, ‘Oh, I have evidence.’ It is just bullshit. Neither him nor me are homosexuals. It’s absolutely obvious.”

Absolutely obvious? Let’s examine the visual evidence on Gasquet:

Those bedroom eyes — Yep, not gay.

That sexy smile — 100% hetero.

That manly jutting jaw — John Wayne would be jealous.

That little bit of scruff — Only the women go for it.

The backwards baseball cap, set just so — You only see straight guys wear it that way.

He plays tennis — The gays go for more sensitive sports like rugby (Ian Roberts) and football (Esera Tuaolo).

He’s French — The only thing gay about France is Gay Paree.

Yes, it is absolutely obvious that Gasquet is not a homosexual, and it is BS to even suggest it. He joins Swiss triathlete Sebastien Gacond, baseball’s Mike Piazza, swimmer Ian Thorpe and the NFL’s Jeff Garcia as jocks who have avowed their heterosexuality.