Super Bowl LV between the Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers kicks off at 6:30 p.m. EST (Eastern Straight Time).
It starts at 7:20 p.m. EGT (Eastern Gay Time) or never if a better offer shows up.
It starts at 6:30 a.m. ELT (Eastern Lesbian Time) with 12 hours spent worrying that the game forgot to call or text.
It starts at 7:55 p.m. ETT (Eastern Trans Time), fashionably late and just in time for the halftime show.
Tell us what time you’re watching the Super Bowl according to your orientation and/or identity in the comments below.