New ESPN NFL analyst Jon Gruden may be a candidate to join Phil Simms in the homoerotic announcing Hall of Fame. I already have heard him enthuse about a player's physical traits and talk about "sticking it in there." My friend Matthew sent along this gem from the Vikings-Packers Monday nighter:
Situation: Packers need the first of two touchdowns plus 2-point conversions. They score the touchdown and then line up for the conversion.
Mike Tirico: "You go for two point plays, going in from the one. Does that change where you go on your playsheet?"
Gruden: "Yeah you go to your goal line offense. But it all depends on what you feel about the Viking defense. I'd stay out of the goal line offense, we saw what [the Viking's defense] did to that earlier. They're gonna spread 'em and take their chances."
Hmmm, you can hear that every night at the Faultline or Rawhide.
This kind of stuff is old hat for Gruden. There was this gem from 2002 when he was coaching Tampa Bay:
The meeting was brief, the request bizarre. Tampa Bay Coach Jon Gruden didn't ask [quarterback] Rob Johnson to throw a pass or even set foot on the football field. A stack of videotapes told Gruden everything he needed to know. Well, almost everything.
"He asked me to lift my shirt to see my abs," said Johnson, 29. "He's just crazy like that. He wanted to see how hard I've worked."
"I'll be the first to say I like this guy," said Gruden. "I see something in this guy."
Plus, Gruden did coach Jeff Garcia.