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Warren Sapp: Gay porn critic

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This week’s Sports Illustrated ran a list of the more “memorable moments” in the career of NFL defensive lineman Warren Sapp, who announced his retirement. There was this gem from Dec. 23, 2006 (first reported by Phil Barber of the Santa Rosa Press-Democrat):

Sapp throws a sideline tantrum because the [Oakland Raiders’] ugly play. “It was something that was really, really on the edge of, like, gay porn,” he explains. “When it’s real bad football, that’s what we call it: gay porn. Something you don’t want to watch. Something you just don’t want to see on the TV. Something you don’t even want to talk about. That’s gay porn.”

Sapp has a point – there is a lot of gay porn that's hard to watch. Cheesy music, lame dialogue, lousy production values and guys not as hot as advertised. It does kind of remind me of watching Sapp’s Raiders the last few years.

But I think he doth protest too much. Studies have shown that the most openly homophobic people are themselves attracted to same-sex sex. Perhaps Sapp is a closet devotee of Sean Cody.com or the latest Falcon release or maybe he’s bookmarked lustpuppy.com. How else would he have such a keen aesthetic sense of gay porn? If Logo is looking for a gay film critic, Sapp is their guy.

Anyone who has seen much of Sapp over the years knows what really would be ugly – seeing him in a gay porn flick. It would turn any 100% red-blooded American gay man straight in a minute. --Jim Buzinski