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Why Wayne Rooney sucked -- he shaved his chest

The English media are going nuts as usual over another flameout by the English World Cup team. They've had a lot of experience, since it's been 44 years since the Three Lions did anything. English star Wayne Rooney had a dismal Cup and the Daily Mail thinks it knows why -- he shaved his chest prior to the event.

According to the Bible, in exchange for his incredible strength, God instructed Samson that he should never cut his hair. ...

Rooney is normally seen with a much hairier chest and for yesterday's match he had also abandoned his normal stubble for a clean-shaven look. ... He looked tired, his first touch was poor and one wild shot on the run ended embarrassingly wide of the target.

It's all rubbish of course. The Mail just wanted an excuse to run shirtless shots of Rooney, along with one of Frank Lampard in a Speedo totally hairless. It also gives us an excuse -- which Rooney you prefer: hairy or shaved?

Hat tip to Jezebel.