I have been meaning to write about one of my favorite blogs, A Gay Athlete's Life, which details the story of a closeted Major League Baseball player. His announcement Tuesday that he is likely calling it quits for his career is as good a time as any.
The blog, which is four years old, deals with the accomplishments, struggles and sometime heartaches of the player, and is written in a very conversant, readable style. It is also laden with sex, from some of his posts to the hot pictures his readers send in. So I was saddened to see that injuries have caused him to come to grips with retirement.
I have had a rough few weeks. Without saying too much I think my playing days are over. It's a lot to handle for someone who has played this game for such a long time. ...
While my situation is not on the level of being a hall of fame player I know what it's like to hear that it's past your time.
I have been a great ball player. Most guys would give their left nut to be able to say they played at the major league level. I have played in the bigs and spent plenty of time on farm teams. Looking back at what I have done, I can say that I achieved my goal of being a professional baseball player.
I am very proud.
One caveat: I have no idea who this player is, other than he is not a pitcher. If I did know, I wouldn't tell. His handle is Slugger and from his posts it's obvious he does not pitch (he has a terrific post about picking up a guy on the road to act as his "slump buster." It worked).
While this could be someone who invented a fake persona, nothing about his blog rings false. He does not brag about his career or boast about some fantasy sexploits. He writes just like what he purports to be: a professional jock, as horny as you would expect, but one capable of having his heart broken (many posts were about his relationship with a guy, Ryan, that ended this year).
He is also not ready to come out publicly. His latest post mentions about trying to still stay involved in baseball. And he had this response when he received a query this summer from a mainstream journalist:
This dilemma has plagued my soul: Do I come out? Do I continue to hide?
This blog has been my release so to speak. When I first entered the minor league system I had endured 4 years of high school and 4 years of college where almost everyday I heard the word faggot being thrown around like the word "the"
It comes so freely and it scares the shit out of me. ...
Do I think that one day [an openly gay player] will happen? Yes. Am I going to be the one who comes out. Right now the answer is no.
You can read entries on this blog where I have hidden who I am from my teammates because I fear this.
The serious stuff aside, A Gay Athlete's Life is fun to read. There are the pictures his readers send in of themselves (or wishing it was themselves); his account of being propositioned by a porn star, and his description of the hotness of other ballplayers:
I get a bunch of e-mails from guys asking if the guys I play with are hot. To answer you: Yes. I would say 95% of the guys I play with I find attractive. I have seen all of them naked and when I do I try to file it away in the back of my head. There are certain guys that drive me up a wall. They are all exhibitionists that are always naked and have the bodies to back it up and not feel ashamed to be naked at all.
My favorite, though, was his account of porn on the road and the use of pizza boxes. You need to read the whole item but here is a teaser:
One of the best things for me on the road is porn. It's pretty much fact that every guy jerks off. I know guys that have girlfriends and wives and they still jerk off. They are guaranteed a f*** or blow job everyday... yet still jerk off. ...
No matter where we were, we would always order pizza to the room. If one of us were f***ing we would leave the pizza box outside the door. We would try and give the guy a time frame but sometimes he would take longer than expected.
Most pizza deliveries come with menus. If one of us were gunna jerk off to porn we would leave the menu in front of the door.
Well, guys on the team caught on... that led to banging on doors and all of that.
Wherever his career path leads, I hope this athlete keeps on writing, and I wish him the best of luck. And keep posting those pictures.